I'm A Grown-Up... And That F*cking Sucks...

I was reading through a Men's Health seasonal magalog, and the thing was organized in lists this time. There was one list in there that discusses the points in a guy's life where he has "matured" from a kid to an adult. It was an interesting list... there were things in it which made me laugh in agreement... like no longer having the desire to get an athlete's autograph or fantasizing about a MILF that is the same age as me...

But this past weekend, I found that I was able to add to the list...

Let me give you some background to how I realized that somehow, I have grown up...

Four or five years ago (true story), me and a couple people were walking through a park on a nice, sunny Saturday afternoon. There was a festival going on at this park. People were all over the place having a good time. Single people, not-so-single people, families, and pets were all over the place. The music was loud and live, there were plenty of games... all around, it was a good time outside for all.

So we were walking around, beers in hand. All of us enjoyed the games and the music... until we decided that we had enough after about two or three hours. We started walking out, when we heard some noise in a corner. So we decided to play Sherlock Holmes to see what it was. Over to the corner we go, and there were two people, a guy and a woman. Both had no pants on, and he was hammering the hell out of her. In semi-drunken states, we watched for a minute, because we thought it was funny, hot, and definitely not something you'd expect to see. I mean it was classic... these two people were oblivious and clearly didn't give a f*ck what was happening around them. So after a few minutes of watching, I started yelling for the dude to life her leg higher and get deeper. The other people started laughing and cheering. The couple got a little embarased, put their clothes back on as quickly as possible, and took off. And we all ended up with memories that last a lifetime.

Fast forward a few years to last weekend. I had my daughter last weekend. We decided to enjoy an evening stroll by letting her ride her bike while I chased her. The park down the street has a big walking path that we really like, so we headed down there. The two of us got to the park and got on her bike. She had her helmet on and was ready to fly, when what does she see happening on the swing set? Two people... a guy and a girl. The girl was sitting in the swing, and the guy was between her legs. She was wearing a short skirt, so at the very least, they were making out. And my daughter caught a nice view from a distance. She looks at me, and asks me what they were doing. I told her that they're whispering secrets in each other's ears and that we shouldn't pay attention. But in my mind, I thought "What the f*ck are those two people doing?!?! They need to take that sh*t to the hotel! My daughter doesn't need to see that sh*t! That's f*cking disgusting!"

Not only did I think that, but I even tried to break it up. I had my daughter get off her bik and run around the path with me. I told her that when we got to a certain point on the track, to yell as loud as she can while she ran as fast as she could. That certain point was when we would be about 10 feet away from the oblivious couple. So, she did it and scared the sh*t out of the couple... enough that they got back in their car and went somewhere else. Now I was happy but still slightly agitated that my daughter saw that...

So what does that have to do with growing up?

Well... the first thought in my mind five years ago was how f*cking cool it was to see a sex scene hidden in a public place. The first thought in my mind last weekend was that it was disgusting and they needed to get a room so my daughter isn't traumatized by those perverts. I don't know if that's maturity or me getting old at the ripe old age of 31.

Pretty messed up, huh?

So what do you think it is... maturity, getting old, or something else? Have you ever had a moment that smacked you in the ass and you realized that you really are a grown m*thaf*cka?